Ah, the infamous holiday hoeing around that you can’t help but look forward to doing every year. Not even sure where it sparks from anymore but the second you realize you’re getting out of town for awhile all hell breaks loose, leaving your morals and standards on the plane.
1. Attend Every Holiday Function:
Whether it’s your best friends, work party or family friends gathering, you’re there and most likely intoxicated. You’re sure that there will be someone there eligible enough to take home with you or hell even sneak around the venue for a little quickie with.
You make sure you’re the star of every event and know how to turn every soiree into your favor as long as you make an appearance, even if it’s for the slightest moment.
2. Download Every Dating App:
Every single suggestion listed under the dating apps section has now been installed and updated with your most seductive pictures. Not even sure if you put any personal information besides what you’re looking for which is a good time.
This is a guaranteed way for you to match with someone and have disposable men lined up for you throughout your entire trip. Not even discouraged if you have to make a little road trip to get your needs met.
3. Send Mass Text To Every Ex:
You have no shame when it comes to sending out the mass text to all of your past flings, mistakes, and potential future lovers. It doesn’t even matter how desperate and thirsty you come off because you’re embracing the fact that you’re looking to get down the second you get into town.
Not even sure what their status is or if they’re in the area but that won’t stop you from letting everyone know that you’re on the prowl and ready to shimmy down anyone’s chimney for a late night surprise.
4. Don’t Dress For The Weather:
You’re not phased by the ridiculous gawking you receive the second you step foot out of your door. You want to rock that tight strapless bodycon and stilettos disregarding the light snowfall that’s beginning.
You may throw on a little coverup but probably not. Ho’s don’t get cold because their drunk blanket is thicker than ever, especially when there is a mission to be completed.
5. Never Say No:
It doesn’t matter if it’s your annual family holiday extravaganza if you’re presented with a better opportunity, one that involves sexual interactions, you’re there. There’s nothing that will get in your way once your mind’s set on ending the night with a bang.
Honestly, it doesn’t even matter who is hitting up your phone or wants to steal you away for the evening; all standards are left at home with your sweet Grandma Ellie when you decide to “run to the store” real quick for a quickie….
Want to more reasons to see if you’re a snapchat hoe? Check out the video below!