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Saskatchewan Computer Terms

Log on -- Make the wood stove hotter
Log off -- Don't add no more wood

Monitor -- Keep an eye on that wood stove

Download -- Getting the firewood off the truck

Floppy disk -- What you get from trying to carry too much firewood

Ram -- The thing that splits the firewood

Hard drive -- Getting home in the winter

Prompt -- What the mail ain't in the winter

Window -- What to shut when it's cold outside

Screen -- What to shut in black fly season

Byte -- What the black flies do

Bit -- What the black flies did

Mega Byte -- What the BIG black flies do chip Munchies for TV

Micro Chip -- What's left in the bag after you eat the chips

Modem -- What you did to the hay fields

Dot matrix -- Old Dan Matrix's wife

Lap top -- Where the kitty sleeps

Software -- The dumb plastic knives & forks they give you at McDonalds

Hardware -- The real stainless steel cutlery.

Mouse -- What eats grain in the barn

Main frame -- What holds the barn up

Enter -- City talk for - "come on in, eh?"

Web -- What a spider makes

Web -- Site The barn or the attic

Cursor -- Someone who swears

Search Engine -- What you do when the car dies

Screen Saver -- A repair kit for the torn window screen

Home Page -- A map you keep in your back pocket just in case you get lost in the field.

Upgrade -- Steep hill.

Server -- The person at the ABC that brings the food.

Mail Server -- The guy at the ABC that brings the food.

MSDOS -- Some new disease they discovered.

Sound Card -- One of them technological birthday cards that plays music when you open it.

User -- The neighbor who keeps borrowing stuff.

Browser -- What they call you when your eye brows grow together.

Network -- When you have to repair your fishing net.

Internet -- Complicated fish net repair method.

Netscape -- When a fish maneuvers out of reach.

Online -- When you get the laundry hung out on the washline.

Offline -- The clothes pins let go and the laundry falls on the ground.