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Ebonics Xmas

Wuz de night befo Crismus

An all ober de hood

Everybody wuz sleepin'

Day wuz sleepin' good.

Everbody wuz sleepin'

all tight in they beds

Whilst Thunderbird Wine

Danced in they heads

I was passed out on de flo

Right next to my Ma

When I heard such a fuss

I thinked "It must be de law!!"

I looked out tru de barz

dat covered my do

Spectin' de sherif

with a warrant fo sho!

Now ober de years

Sanny Claws, he be white.

But it lookin' like us bros

got a black Sanny dis night

Now what I did see

made me say "LAWD Lood at dat!"

It was a huge watermellon cadi

pulled by dwarf rats

Faster than a po-lice car

True de air he came

an whupped up on dem warf rats

an called emm by name.

On Leroy, on Kendrick,

On Jontarious Lee, on Falacious

They was a sight to see

He didn't go down no chimbly

-just picked de lock on my do'

An I says to myself-

"Shit! He done did befo'!"

He had a big sack

full of presents I spect

With Air Jordans and Fake Gold

to go 'round my neck.

But he didn't leave any presents

-just started steelin' my shit

He got my drugs, my stoled guns

an even my burglars kit!

With his sack on his back

Out de winder he flew

I sho woulda catched 'em,

but he stole my knife too!

He jumped on dat watermelon cadi

and pulled out a switch

He was gone in a second

dat son-of-a-bitch

I sho hope nex year

a white Sanny we git

'Cause de black Sanny Claws

jus' ain't wuf a shit!
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