Search:
   
amazing jokes This page is about The Gerbil Incident joke.Read it and have fun!

If you have any good jokes yourself, why not submit them for the rest of the world to see? To keep up with the latest updates, subscribe to our daily jokes newsletter. Please don't forget to bookmark us. (Just press "Control, D"). This site is updated daily.Please e-mail us if you have a suggestion.

  Signup Free Account to browse Ajokes without any advertising! Login | Register 


Home : College jokes Send this joke to a friend!
Add to My Jokes Box

The Gerbil Incident

 
"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital.


Tomaszewski, and his homosexual partner Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong. "I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Faggot, our gerbil, in," he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out "Armageddon", my cue that he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve Faggot but he wouldn't come out again, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him."


At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what happened next. "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot out the tube, igniting Mr. Tomaszewski's hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball." Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract.


Anonymous response:


Ok, here's the top ten things that scared me the most in reading this story:


"I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum . . ." Ouch!!!


"So I peered into the tube . . ." Aaaaaahhhhhhh. I'm sorry, but that's like looking through a telescope into Hell. I'd rather use binoculars to stare at the sun.


That poor gerbil (who obviously suffers from low self esteem) being shot out of the guy's ass like Rocky the Flying Squirrel on Rocky & Bullwinkle.


Suffering a broken nose from a gerbil being launched out of someone's ass. I'm just guessing, but I seriously doubt said gerbil was springtime fresh after his little journey into Kiki's "tunnel of love."


People walking around with these volcanic-like pockets of gas in their rectums.


People who do this kind of thing and then admit what they were doing when taken to the emergency room. Sorry, but I think I would have made up a story about a gang of roving, pyromaniac, anal sex fiends breaking into my house and sodomizing me with a charcoal lighter before I admitted the truth. Call me old fashioned, but I just can't imagine looking at a doctor and saying "Well doc, it's like this. See we have this gerbil named Faggot and we took this cardboard tube..."


"First and second degree burns to the anus." Wouldn't this make the burning itch and discomfort of hemorrhoids a welcome relief? How does one ever take a healthy shit after something like this? And the smell of burning anus must be in the top five most horrible scents on the face of God's green earth.


People named "Kiki" which is obviously a Polynesian word for "Idiotic white men who insert rodents up their butts."


What kind of a hospital would hold a press conference on this?


This happened in Salt Lake City. What kind of people are those Mormons? I'm starting to get a whole new image of the Osmond family.
Was it funny?
   << Read previous joke   Read next joke >>

Similar Jokes in College jokes Category
  • Which Tire Was It? Average Votes:5.00
  • A Qwik Quiz Average Votes:5.00
  • Revocation of Independence Average Votes:5.00
  • Student Raise of Grade Form Average Votes:5.00
  • Ode To Puke Average Votes:5.00
  • The official polish sex quiz Average Votes:5.00
  • Not In College Anymore When... Average Votes:5.00
  • Davidson Average Votes:5.00
  • Gardner Webb Average Votes:5.00
  • RTP Genie Average Votes:5.00
  • UNC Pembroke Average Votes:5.00
  • Hangover Rating System Average Votes:4.88
  • UNC's Bubba Average Votes:4.72
  • LA High School Maths Exam... Average Votes:4.67
  • The Gerbil Incident Average Votes:4.64
  • S.H.I.T Average Votes:4.62
  • Assholes in prison ... Average Votes:4.57
  • The Five Levels Of Drinking Average Votes:4.57
  • More Osamaa(the piece of shit)Jokes Average Votes:4.50
  • Western Carolina Average Votes:4.50
  • Don't Know Shit Average Votes:4.46
  • Murphy Laws of Computing Average Votes:4.40
  • Morning Poem Average Votes:4.37
  • UNC Wilmington Average Votes:4.33
  • Found In A fortune Cookie Average Votes:4.25
  • The Plane Incident Average Votes:4.25
  • College Bible Average Votes:4.20
  • 10 reasons why sex is better than work Average Votes:4.00
  • A Message From Your Computer: Average Votes:4.00
  • Class Picture Average Votes:4.00

    Copyright © 2002-2012 ajokes.com! All Rights Reserved.
    Privacy Policy