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Jesus Vs. Satan

 
This joke is original and one of mine and is based loosely on the hilarious boxing match between Jesus and Satan in South Park's Damien episode. In that fight Satan intentionally took a dive to make a bundle of money. This fight is different.



Jesus and Satan agreed on a boxing match, the winner gets to rule the world. The place Las Vegas Nevada [where else?] before a crowd of thousands--match also on pay per view where I witnessed it.

Before the fight the referee stated "All right, guys, I want a clean fight, a fair fight, no hitting below the belt. No miracles either. At the ring of the bell begin. Now go to your corners." Satan protested "A fair fight? But that's against my principles." The referee frowned "I'm warning you, it better be a fair fight, now shake hands and let the fight begin." In Jesus' corner was Billy Graham, in Satan's corner was Anton LaVey.

The bell rang and the fight began.

The two fighters approach. Satan lands a sharp jab on Jesus' jaw. Satan says "Hmm. How do you like that?" Jesus said "Don't worry, I forgive you."

Satan throws another harder punch and lands it. Satan puzzled "You just stood there and let me hit you." Jesus said "Don't worry, turning the other cheek."

As they approach again suddenly Satan is struck by a blow so hard, so fast he felt it before he even saw it coming. Satan flew back several feet and fell to the ground. He was unable to get back to his feet by the count of 10." The referee awarded the victory to Jesus, a TKO!

Satan protested, "Hey, Jesus didn't fight fair, he pulled a miracle on me!"

Jesus said, "No, I didn't cheat and it was no miracle. You see after Bruce Lee died I decided to let him in Heaven even though he was Taoist. I've been training under him all these years and now have grandmaster status in Jeet Kune Do!"
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